Sex & Teenage Sleepovers? – Putting our teens at risk
Just when I think I’ve heard it all, I come across something that makes me pause in disgust. This week, I read an article from the Huffington Post titled, “How Do You Feel about Sex and Teenage Sleepovers?”
There’s no doubt how I feel, but let’s first take a look at what the author said. In the first paragraph she asks, “Why not teach children how to have sex well, the way you teach them how to do other things?” She elaborates, describing parents inviting the teenager’s partner over, having a nice dinner and then the couple “toddles” off to bed together. (In reality, that’s just permitting the behavior to take place, not actually educating.)
Then she goes further stating, “It seems logical to me that the same way I try to teach my kids to exercise, sleep well and be good people, I would teach them to have healthy sex with other good people.” Appalling mental scenarios come to mind, but I’m not going there.
The author’s arguments in the article are built on a number of faulty premises. I’ll address three:
- Blaming abstinence-only sex-education for the teen pregnancy rate in the US.
Abstinence-only sex-ed has become increasingly rare in our schools, instead being replaced by so-called comprehensive sex-ed. The truth is, comprehensive sex-ed isn’t working. It fosters an environment of promoting adolescent sexual activity by implying that teen relationships should include sex. Further, it falsely assumes that teens don’t have the ability to avoid sexual experimentation. Teens are actually empowered by embracing sexual purity. For example, a group called Healthy Visions has been welcomed into high schools to tackle tough issues like promiscuity. They present teens with the consequences of sexual activity and empower them to make better life choices. Through their no-nonsense, straight-forward approach, teens are shown they can “change their story.” The impact it’s had on students’ lives is nothing short of astounding. To meet some of their successes firsthand, watch our Emmy Award-winning episode of Facing Life Head-On called “Teens Making Healthy Choices.”
- Presenting only two perspectives: either abstinence means “sex-is-bad” or promiscuity equals “sex-is-awesome.”
Just because a person believes in abstinence doesn’t mean that he or she thinks sex is bad. In fact, I support abstinence and think sex is great! But it’s a gift to be given within marriage, rather than promoting it as something casual. It’s an act that’s to be treated with respect. Recently, Duck Dynasty stars Jase Robertson and wife Missy shared why they chose to wait until marriage to have sex. Jase told reporters, “We were both virgins when we got married until our wedding night. We decided to do it God’s way and basically had a godly agreement that we would help each other get to heaven.” Teaching teens respect and encouraging self-control reinforces how awesome sex really is and why it’s important to wait for the right time and the right person to enjoy it.
- Downplaying the risks of teen sex, while calling abstinence the “scare-them-silly” camp.
We live in a highly sex-saturated culture that mocks abstinence. Unfortunately, this has made it easy for teens to embrace casual sex. Yet, there are consequences for those actions. No matter how “healthy” and “responsible” sex is, young people are putting themselves at risk of sexually transmitted diseases, unplanned pregnancies and all but certain emotional repercussions. This isn’t about instilling a false sense of fear; there are real dangers that exist and cannot be ignored. Abstinence offers the only truly healthy alternative.
Surprisingly, there’s one thing that the author and I agree on—the role of parents. She writes, “It also turns out that parents have more influence on what their kids think and do about sex than teachers do. Parental attitudes, it turns out, are far more influential and meaningful.” (Emphasis mine) That’s why it’s crucial we stay engaged in our children’s lives and not be afraid to discuss sexual purity. We have to be honest; it isn’t easy for teens to remain abstinent. Olympic athlete, Lolo Jones shared this about her efforts to remain abstinent, “It’s just something, a gift that I want to give to my husband. But please understand this journey has been hard… Harder than training for the Olympics, harder than graduating from college, has been to stay a virgin before marriage.”
What’s not surprising is abortion-giant Planned Parenthood also openly advocates for teen sex. From their perspective, “The solution… is to teach young people how to experience sexual pleasure instead of teaching them not to have sex.” Their motive is clear. When teens are sexually active, they need to rely on Planned Parenthood’s services, including their lucrative abortion “services.” It’s a sick and manipulative approach that essentially fuels Planned Parenthood’s business model. And it’s even more reason we must diligently fight to protect the lives of not just the unborn, but of our young people.
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